The Nobel Peace Prize - How Great an Honour
Ahh, the brilliance of the Nobel Peace prize committee. Who else but a nobel laureate could conjure up the reasoning that yes, it looks like Iran is a few months away from an atomic bomb, but negotiation is the way to solve this, not attack by Israel. In case you missed it none other than Muhammad ElBaradei spoke those words, you remember him right? That's it, you got it, him and all his buddies at the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) won the prize for all their great work in stopping the spread of nuclear weapons. Well, negotiations sure worked well in North Korea.
So what’s the right course of action? Well, I guess we can only assume that the Iranians are doing all that uranium enrichments because they are interested in alternative fuels. I mean oil is running out. Oh yeah, that’s right, I forgot, THEY MAKE 4 MILLION BARRELS OF OIL A DAY. That’s right. I looked it up. Do you know how many gallons in a barrel? It’s a lot. 4 million barrels of oil is like a gazillion gallons of gas. Every day. You know that hydrogen car fuel cell thing? Where your car is going to run on water? That’s more expensive for them. Water is more than oil over there. That’s how oil much they make. So how incredibly stupid do you have to be to think that they are enriching uranium other than to make a nuclear bomb? Well I guess Nobel Laureate stupid. Nobel prize winning Jimmy Carter stupid. That’s how stupid you have to be.
Gosh Opie, I wonder what they are going to do with the bomb? Well, lets think on that one a while. I mean there sure are a lot of real nice appetizer things at these UN cogitation sessions, so no need to come to a hasty conclusion. Ummmm, hey, I got it.. They probably don’t have cable TV in Iran and Ill bet its real boring so maybe they are going to use it for a real neat Fourth of July fireworks display? I mean that’s a few months away; maybe they will have it ready by then? Oh wait; they don’t have that holiday over there, they do Passover or something else instead I think. Hmmmm, Well, they did just elect a president who said that his number one goal was to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. Maybe nuclear weapons would be good for that? Gee, I don’t know, ya think?
Boy, well that sure sounds real bad. I think Muhammad ElBaradei is right. The Israelis should just go talk to the Iranians and make nice nice. Then the Iranians will see that everything is just all sweet and peachy and that “Kill The Jews” was just something that looked good on a bumper sticker. Then I guess the Iranians will all of a sudden just flush all that investment in underground nuclear facilities down the toilet. Yep, just get rid of all of it and turn it into parking garages and strip malls because Muhammad ElBaradei went over there and talked to them. Everything will be all gumdrop land.
The thing is, that only makes sense if you are an absolute moron or a Nobel laureate. Please excuse the redundancy. After something like two years of negotiations, the Europeans got nowhere with Iran. Iran told them to go fuck themselves and unless you’re a Nobel laureate you probably already know why: because they want to destroy Israel and kill Jews. They said that’s what they want to do. They are enriching uranium and giving everyone a big "up yours!". Add it up; I know most of you out there can do it in your head. For you stupid idiotic inane dumb ass stupidest stupid head Nobel laureates, here is a calculator.
Ahh, the brilliance of the Nobel Peace prize committee. Who else but a nobel laureate could conjure up the reasoning that yes, it looks like Iran is a few months away from an atomic bomb, but negotiation is the way to solve this, not attack by Israel. In case you missed it none other than Muhammad ElBaradei spoke those words, you remember him right? That's it, you got it, him and all his buddies at the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) won the prize for all their great work in stopping the spread of nuclear weapons. Well, negotiations sure worked well in North Korea.
So what’s the right course of action? Well, I guess we can only assume that the Iranians are doing all that uranium enrichments because they are interested in alternative fuels. I mean oil is running out. Oh yeah, that’s right, I forgot, THEY MAKE 4 MILLION BARRELS OF OIL A DAY. That’s right. I looked it up. Do you know how many gallons in a barrel? It’s a lot. 4 million barrels of oil is like a gazillion gallons of gas. Every day. You know that hydrogen car fuel cell thing? Where your car is going to run on water? That’s more expensive for them. Water is more than oil over there. That’s how oil much they make. So how incredibly stupid do you have to be to think that they are enriching uranium other than to make a nuclear bomb? Well I guess Nobel Laureate stupid. Nobel prize winning Jimmy Carter stupid. That’s how stupid you have to be.
Gosh Opie, I wonder what they are going to do with the bomb? Well, lets think on that one a while. I mean there sure are a lot of real nice appetizer things at these UN cogitation sessions, so no need to come to a hasty conclusion. Ummmm, hey, I got it.. They probably don’t have cable TV in Iran and Ill bet its real boring so maybe they are going to use it for a real neat Fourth of July fireworks display? I mean that’s a few months away; maybe they will have it ready by then? Oh wait; they don’t have that holiday over there, they do Passover or something else instead I think. Hmmmm, Well, they did just elect a president who said that his number one goal was to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. Maybe nuclear weapons would be good for that? Gee, I don’t know, ya think?
Boy, well that sure sounds real bad. I think Muhammad ElBaradei is right. The Israelis should just go talk to the Iranians and make nice nice. Then the Iranians will see that everything is just all sweet and peachy and that “Kill The Jews” was just something that looked good on a bumper sticker. Then I guess the Iranians will all of a sudden just flush all that investment in underground nuclear facilities down the toilet. Yep, just get rid of all of it and turn it into parking garages and strip malls because Muhammad ElBaradei went over there and talked to them. Everything will be all gumdrop land.
The thing is, that only makes sense if you are an absolute moron or a Nobel laureate. Please excuse the redundancy. After something like two years of negotiations, the Europeans got nowhere with Iran. Iran told them to go fuck themselves and unless you’re a Nobel laureate you probably already know why: because they want to destroy Israel and kill Jews. They said that’s what they want to do. They are enriching uranium and giving everyone a big "up yours!". Add it up; I know most of you out there can do it in your head. For you stupid idiotic inane dumb ass stupidest stupid head Nobel laureates, here is a calculator.
posted by R Huse at 10:45 PM
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